“I am just a girl” (a poem about what it’s like to be me, as a teen, with encopresis)

me in cupboard

This is a poem written about my personal life experiences with Encopresis. Although some of the words written in the poem didn’t actually happen, the emotion behind it is the same. To anyone to hasn’t gone through with this (and very lucky), this poem might seem strange but for me and others like me it’s life. It was a major part of my life, and reveals how I felt and thought. I’m claiming it. So enjoy, and read it from the heart.

I AM JUST A GIRL

I poo in my pants,

But I can’t help it y’know.

My body doesn’t tell me

When I need to go.

I might have just done it.

I could be dirty and smell.

But my nose tells me nothing

So I really don’t know.

At school they avoid me,

Around town as well.

‘Best stay away from that girl

Cos she stinks like hell.’

I hide soiled pants,

Stick them out of the way.

I’ll still get told off

But at least not today.

I did it at school

And I started to cry.

The class started laughing,

I just wanted to die.

The teacher moved me away

To a separate classroom.

‘You can stay on your own,

No one will sit next to you.’

Will a boy ever like me?

Will I ever find love?

A boy who won’t tease me,

For what my body does.

Why am I like this?

I’d rather be you:

Have friends and be happy,

And use the toilet to poo.

I’ve just done it again

Out shopping with Mum.

She’s angry and shows it;

She can smell what I’ve done.

She shouts in the street

So everybody can hear,

‘You smell like a sewer,

Can’t take you anywhere.’

‘You’re disgusting and lazy,

Why don’t you go to the loo?

No-one else poos their pants,

You’re fifteen, not two.’

‘I’m just so embarrassed

To have a daughter like you.’

She forgets I have feelings

And I hate it too.

I don’t choose to do it,

But that’s what they think.

That I must want messy pants

And I must want to stink.

I’m sat on the toilet,

It’s difficult to poo;

My tract is blocked up,

I’ve got stomach ache too.

I want to be normal,

I so want to live,

Go to sleepovers and parties

And have fun on school trips.

Why not ask me to visit?

We can talk, laugh and play.

Just say if I smell,

I’ll change straight away.

Let’s have a sleepover,

Your bed will be safe.

I’ll bring my spare pants,

Go on – it’ll be great!

Why can’t we be friends?

I’d like to know you.

I am a nice person

And I’m sure you are too.

You can’t catch what I’ve got,

You won’t get it as well.

So please, I’m not a monster,

I am just a girl.