Encopresis survivor communication

Hi to all my readers out there,

How are you all doing? How is your weekend? Thank you for the e-mails, comments and posts and sharing your family story and experiences. I really appreciate it, respond and am here for you. As an Encopresis survivor myself, I know what it feels like to feel so alone with no one to talk to whom has gone thought it and open to talk to. Someone existing and real, someone that soils underwear with no idea why, someone that I can relate to. I’m here for you all.

I am available, open and interested in talking to your child/teenager/adult. Whether it’s on the phone, e-mail, writing a letter and creating a video message on YouTube. It doesn’t matter whether your child is 4, or in his/her 60’s. If receiving a personal letter from Santa Claus at Christmas time brightens up your child’s life, I know what it would be like to receive letters though out the year from a fellow Encopresis survivor.

I will give my postal address/phone number for the families that request it. The best ways to contact me are posting on my blog directly,

e-mail: naturegirl015admin@themagicwithinus.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helpencopresissurvivorseeellen

Twitter: @naturegirl015

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/naturegirl015

Enjoy the weekend everyone. Stay strong, be yourself and never give up.

Dimity

I love inspirational stories and how they change people’s lives

Ever since I was a little girl, I always hearing/watching inspirational stories (I watch them with the family too). I absolutely love Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show, and stories on both Dr Oz Show and the Dr Phil. Show. It’s an amazing feeling when I hear about inspiring people, their stories of trial and hardship, and watch their lives transform for the better.

Before I was legal age, I always wanted to donate blood (and have successfully been able to do so, before the Blood Bank here closed down). I am a registered Organ Donor, and on the Bone Marrow donation register. I haven’t been called yet for a match, but I’m available and registered. As a young child I donated my clothes/toys/books to less fortunate, have sent a total of 10 packages of donated goods to Youth Projects (in Melbourne) and currently volunteer at Feed The Little Children (local non-for-profit organisation in Broome. Link here: http://feedthelittlechildren.org.au/). I absolutely love it. I wanted to volunteer for a project with Extreme Make-over: Home Edition (even though I live in Australia), however it was brought to my attention that they weren’t going to continue anymore (I love watching the re-runs). My dad is involved in the Lion’s Club, and us as a family are involved in community projects over the years. I donate to TELETHON as well (a state fundraiser to raise money for expensive equipment and research for children with cancer at Princess Margaret Hospital, in Perth, thanks to Channel 7).

My favourite segment on The Ellen DeGeneres Show are the stories from inspirational stories of people’s lives, what they do to help others (and how Ellen helps them). Not a single person on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (that I can find) has ever mentioned or been a guest that has spoken up about Encopresis, and it is a huge dream of mine to be able to do so. I love her and the show more than I can write here. Many nights I dream about being on the show with her and sharing my story about Encopresis. “You are not alone” is really hard for the parents (my readers) whom have family members with this condition, foster parents and especially the battlers (and fellow Encopresis Survivors). When I had Encopresis I wanted to read a book (the one I’m currently working on) or see on TV opening up and admitting that he/she had it and willing to communicate with others. Feel free to e-mail me at: naturegirl015admin@themagicwithinus.com if you want to chat. I’m here.

Please help my dream come true by clicking on the link for The Ellen DeGeneres Show and share my blog with her. Link here: http://www.ellentv.com/be-on-the-show/399/

Helping others with Encopresis and awareness means so much to me. Imagine how many lives can benefit (even yours) when watching a show and realising that the guest on there had exactly when you’re going through and survived. As an Encopresis survivor I can honestly say, it means so much if that was around when I had it. “Be the person you wish to see”. Please help me.

Thank you,

Dimity

P.S. How have YOU helped others? Feel free to share your stories.

“With an open mind, and an open heart…anything is possible!”

“It’s a power struggle” (- quote from Dr Phil)

Today (here) I have just watched something gut wrenching on the Dr Phil show. In an episode called “Biggest Mistakes you don’t know you’re making” (original broadcast date 11/24/09), there was a family whom have a son with Encopresis. Ironically I get a season in Australia that’s 3 years old, but I’m lucky I saw this one.

The boy (at time of broadcast) is pre-school age (3 years old I think) poops in his pants. Dr Phil commented that it’s a “power struggle” with the boy winning, and that comment has really upset me. If you have been reading my blog so far (thank you if you have) then you’ll know by now that I am an Encopresis survivor. Something that Dr Phil never mentioned in this particular episode is that their son (the parents on the show) has this medical condition. Dr Phil admits he doesn’t know much about it (even though he has had a previous family on the show with Encopresis, and mentioned it, in 2007). Dr Phil never had enco, nor Robin and neither has his own sons had it. The more I hear stories like this the more inspired and dedicated I am to complete my manuscript and get it published.

I wanted to so much to hug the boy and tell him he’s ok. Ironically Dr Phil hasn’t interviewed in the episode mentioned any survivors (such as myself) for opinions/thoughts/advice nor any “experts”. I can’t let these children suffer because of the myths and misconceptions. I’m understanding how hard it is for the parents in this situation, but I feel it more to how the children/teens/adults feel whom have (or have had) this condition. I have just measured my blood pressure and pulse, both are high (pulse measured at 75). I’ve also been crying my heart out.

If Dr Phil genuinely thinks this is a “power struggle” does that mean that what I have been through (punishing, yelled in public, no friends, no social life, bullied/stabbed/work stolen/things thrown at me, etc), is that meant to be intentional?? If the medical aspect has been looked at (for example chronic constipation or spasdic colon) then perhaps there may be something else involved (especially after talking to some of the parents on Facebook). However NOT every Encopresis child has a power struggle and Dr Phil didn’t acknowledge that. Something that is correct that Dr Phil says in the story is this:

“You’ve got to make sure that he knows that you love him unconditionally, so don’t withhold love and support.”

 Definitely keep this in mind and heart, my dear readers. Let me know what you think.

Here is the link to the website with the story: http://drphil.com/slideshows/slideshow/5439/?id=5439&showID=1360

For those interested here is the  link to the only other previous story on the Dr Phil show about Encopresis (I haven’t seen this episode myself. Dr Phil does seem more forgiving in this story and the comments from the public aren’t. However what he said in this link, he didn’t say to the story mentioned above that this post focuses on):

http://drphil.com/slideshows/slideshow/3908/?id=3908&slide=0&showID=916&preview=&versionID

I have to help and I’m here to help. I’m willing to do anything and everything I have to for these families. My book is written from a survivor…an Encopresis survivor. xx

Why I’m opening up

For those that have been reading my blog, then you will know that I am an “encopresis survivor” (“enco-survivor” for short). I thought I would share my reasons.

When you have this condition, you feel so alone. I know I did. Understandably there are parents (including my own) whom also felt alone. It’s not their fault, it’s not mine and it’s not anyone else that has this condition or is the family of someone that is. Growing up, I had very few friends, but finding someone else that has this condition is something I craved. I will admit there is a guy I grew up with whom I’m sure had this too, but I respect his privacy, but apart from him I knew no one else.

I live in a town of 15,000 locals (55,000 in the tourist season). I also live remote. The internet wasn’t around at the time, so no forums, “googling” or anything like that. It was hard on my parents, and afterall this I still love them and we’re very close (rest assured parents that enco won’t affect your relationship with your child, it shouldn’t anyway).

For many years I always felt that my stinking condition was my “deep dark secret”. Whenever anyone asks me my most embarrassing moments, anthing to do with encopresis and what I went through will NEVER be brought up. I never laugh at the joke that people use about “pooping themself” when scared or wearing “brown pants”, etc as this is actually teasing the life that I lived through. When your body functions properly and gives you the distinct indiction “to go”, people think it’s common sense to go…they can’t understand what it feels like when THAT particular feeling doesn’t exist (or very small), and no one believes you. Bullying is hard enough.

There wasn’t anyone on TV that admits to having this condition (I had to research it myself about 4 years ago, it wasn’t on the Dr Phil website then….it is now), not in magazines or anything. I haven’t come across a single celebrity that admits to have had this condition. Not a single role model to look up to, relating to this. It’s great that celebrities are opening up about being Gay/Lesbian, drug/alcohol abuse, victim of bullying, depression, etc….but what about something a bit more “socially taboo”? (if you know someone point them my way).

There is a saying “Be the person you wish to see”…I wish to see a role model, willing to open up about this condition. Just because I don’t have encopresis now doesn’t mean I won’t talk about it (I couldn’t for a long time but I can now). The more enco survivors open up, the more it can help the current families living through this. Perhaps doctors should listen too, so then they can better help their patients by knowing how others have interpreted different treatments. The things that work for me (and don’t work) I can mention, those that I won’t support..I won’t. I am human, I have my faults. I also have a heart.

Children, teenagers and adults whom have this condition (or had it) need to find others to talk to. I have noticed parents have started numerous blogs and forums (some current, some abandonded) and a few fellow survivors open up too (mostly on abandonded sites), but we crave that connection too. To tell your child “you aren’t alone” isn’t easy to believe unless they can see/hear/read/communicate themselves. It’d be great if I can get onto the Ellen Degeneres Show or Dr Oz, or others to help really open up about this condition. I am currently writing a book about my experiences (and a few others that have been kind enough to share their stories), but if you have any suggestions or questions then let me know.

For many years I kept this a secret, but it was eating me up inside. It was hard initially to open up (most of the people I know probably still don’t know this is something I had), but I have to share my story to save someone. I have cried at night many times because I want to help so much, but can’t. I can write my book (get it published), write this blog, and go from there. I feel better inside knowing that I’m helping someone. Perhaps I can help with any myths about this condition (for example. “why does my child say he/she can’t feel or smell when had an accident?”), who knows. Everyone is different and how they cope/treat is different too. How I experiened it might be different to another person, it might also be the same or similiar to another. The more we open up, hopefully the more awareness we can generate and help others that wish someone would speak up for them. I wish someone had spoken up for me and believed me…but they didn’t. I have to be there for others. I’ll be the role model and the voice, if no one else will!!

I hope that makes sense. I hope it helps. Let me know. 🙂 xx

I am not as alone as I thought I was

After recently joining a Encopresis group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/211406189068339/), I am realieved that I’m not as lone as originally thought.

There are some misconeceptions about what is actually happening. One involves assumption that the child is “lazy” or not want to go toilet, when in reality he/she does not know why. When our body doesn’t give us a strong indication of “needing to go” and our smell receptors can’t actually smell it….as far as we know nothing has happened. To the rest of the world, we have. Parents (and enco kids) can be rest assured that they will grow out of it in time. I did, and that’s why I call myself a Encopresis Survivor (if you can be a cancer survivor why not be a encopresis survivor??).

The poem (and a previous entry) titled “I am just a girl” is an insight into how one feels inside with it.

It’s socially taboo to talk about it (not to mention smelling of it), and yet there are children suffering alone and in silence because of it. I may not know all the answers, but I will share what I do. I’m here for you. E-mail me anytime at naturegirl015admin@themagicwithinus.com

My love to you all!! xx Never give up parents, but please be patient.

An Ode to CAN

There has been an ad on TV recently for the Commonwealth Bank, and they use this beautiful poem. It’s powerful in its meaning that I thought I would share it here. I claim no ownership and no copyright infringement intended. Grammatically it should be edited but that’s how it’s written. If interested here is the ad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2psopYv5sZs) Enjoy…

AN ODE TO CAN

There’s a four lettered word

As offensive as any

It holds back the few

Puts a stop to the many.

You can’t climb that mountain

You can’t cross the sea

You can’t become anything you want to be.

He can’t hit a century

They can’t find a cure.

She can’t think about leaving

or searching for more.

Because can’t is a word with a habit of stopping

The ebb and flow of ideas

It keeps dropping itself where we know

in our hearts it’s not needed

And saying “don’t go”

when we could have succeeded.

But those four little letters

That end with a T

They can change in an instant

When shortened to three.

We can take off the T

We can do it today

We can move foward not back

We can find our own way.

We can build we can run

We can follow the sun

We can push we can pull

We can say I’m someone

Who refuses to believe

That life can’t be better

With the removal of one

Insignificant letter.