“It’s a power struggle” (- quote from Dr Phil)

Today (here) I have just watched something gut wrenching on the Dr Phil show. In an episode called “Biggest Mistakes you don’t know you’re making” (original broadcast date 11/24/09), there was a family whom have a son with Encopresis. Ironically I get a season in Australia that’s 3 years old, but I’m lucky I saw this one.

The boy (at time of broadcast) is pre-school age (3 years old I think) poops in his pants. Dr Phil commented that it’s a “power struggle” with the boy winning, and that comment has really upset me. If you have been reading my blog so far (thank you if you have) then you’ll know by now that I am an Encopresis survivor. Something that Dr Phil never mentioned in this particular episode is that their son (the parents on the show) has this medical condition. Dr Phil admits he doesn’t know much about it (even though he has had a previous family on the show with Encopresis, and mentioned it, in 2007). Dr Phil never had enco, nor Robin and neither has his own sons had it. The more I hear stories like this the more inspired and dedicated I am to complete my manuscript and get it published.

I wanted to so much to hug the boy and tell him he’s ok. Ironically Dr Phil hasn’t interviewed in the episode mentioned any survivors (such as myself) for opinions/thoughts/advice nor any “experts”. I can’t let these children suffer because of the myths and misconceptions. I’m understanding how hard it is for the parents in this situation, but I feel it more to how the children/teens/adults feel whom have (or have had) this condition. I have just measured my blood pressure and pulse, both are high (pulse measured at 75). I’ve also been crying my heart out.

If Dr Phil genuinely thinks this is a “power struggle” does that mean that what I have been through (punishing, yelled in public, no friends, no social life, bullied/stabbed/work stolen/things thrown at me, etc), is that meant to be intentional?? If the medical aspect has been looked at (for example chronic constipation or spasdic colon) then perhaps there may be something else involved (especially after talking to some of the parents on Facebook). However NOT every Encopresis child has a power struggle and Dr Phil didn’t acknowledge that. Something that is correct that Dr Phil says in the story is this:

“You’ve got to make sure that he knows that you love him unconditionally, so don’t withhold love and support.”

 Definitely keep this in mind and heart, my dear readers. Let me know what you think.

Here is the link to the website with the story: http://drphil.com/slideshows/slideshow/5439/?id=5439&showID=1360

For those interested here is the  link to the only other previous story on the Dr Phil show about Encopresis (I haven’t seen this episode myself. Dr Phil does seem more forgiving in this story and the comments from the public aren’t. However what he said in this link, he didn’t say to the story mentioned above that this post focuses on):

http://drphil.com/slideshows/slideshow/3908/?id=3908&slide=0&showID=916&preview=&versionID

I have to help and I’m here to help. I’m willing to do anything and everything I have to for these families. My book is written from a survivor…an Encopresis survivor. xx

You know you are an Encopresis child when…

Below are 10 different ways of knowing whether you are an Encopresis child or not. You know you are an Encopresis child when…

1. Certain people’s attitude stink more than you do.

2. You have more bullies than real friends.

3. Bedwetting is socially acceptable, but the opposite is considered socially taboo.

4. No one appears to understand and you feel so alone.

5. How you smell on the outside is not how you are as a person on the inside.

6. Punished for something out of your control is hard to forget.

7. Having a social life is hard to have when no one wants to be social with you.

8. Why me? I didn’t choose this, how is it my fault? Please love me.

9. You physically can’t feel/smell yourself and no one believes that as the truth.

10. You wish and dream that you’re normal, happy and people love you.

There are more but let me know what you think. 🙂

Why do some people have Encopresis and others do not?

Hello to all my readers out there. Did you have a wonderful start to the New Year ahead? I thought I would start my blog off this year with a recurring thought I had about my encopresis journey.

Here is my question to you: If we’re built the same (2 arms, 2 legs, 1 torso, etc..I’m talking generally), how come some people have encopresis and others do not?

What I have been wondering (and still do) is there are people like me that has suffered from Encopresis with the soiling underwear, constipation, enlarged colon, etc; and the other majority of people that have similiar experiences (constipation, the occasional use of a laxative to name a few) do not soil or have enco. Does that make sense in how I worded it?

I understand doctors advising to clear out the system and try and make the faecal matter soft enough to be able to be excreted without pain (and other recommendations), however as an encopresis survivor I feel (and this is my personal opinion) that we are treating the systems of enco, not the cause. When you have encopresis the stool is generally hard, so how come no matter how much water we drink we still have hard and painful stools? Other people can drink water and have normal soft stools, and yet when you suffer from enco this doesn’t work. Are doctors and specialists researching this particular scenario? (if they are I haven’t found any reseaech yet).

I have found a doctor in Australia that specialises in the “button” sugery for children with enco (to be honest I’m not sure myself how it works, and am grateful that I didn’t go through that surgery), and has had success with his patients. I wonder that if there is a surgery that can “treat” the condition, why can’t they work out from there what is actually causing it?

Neither of my parents (or anyone in my entire family history) has had encopresis, but I’m the only one that I’m aware of that has had it. No one else. A family history of constipation or a “spasdic colon” (where the muscles in the sphincter aren’t pushing the stool along as it regularly should is at a much slower rate) can contribute to encopresis, so why am I different?

There a small number of us that have currently (or had encopresis) compared to the majority of the population that live normal lives without soiling. I’m not sure what statistically the ratio is, but I’m sure you’re aware that there is a noticeable difference. Perhaps more research needs to be done to study children with a normal functioning bowel system and children with enco of the same age, and literally play “spot the difference”. What is it in them that works, that in us doesn’t?

If you have any thoughts you wish to share on this topic then feel free to comment them here. I hope I haven’t sounded going round in circles with this thought.

Tell me…..what do you think?

I am not as alone as I thought I was

After recently joining a Encopresis group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/211406189068339/), I am realieved that I’m not as lone as originally thought.

There are some misconeceptions about what is actually happening. One involves assumption that the child is “lazy” or not want to go toilet, when in reality he/she does not know why. When our body doesn’t give us a strong indication of “needing to go” and our smell receptors can’t actually smell it….as far as we know nothing has happened. To the rest of the world, we have. Parents (and enco kids) can be rest assured that they will grow out of it in time. I did, and that’s why I call myself a Encopresis Survivor (if you can be a cancer survivor why not be a encopresis survivor??).

The poem (and a previous entry) titled “I am just a girl” is an insight into how one feels inside with it.

It’s socially taboo to talk about it (not to mention smelling of it), and yet there are children suffering alone and in silence because of it. I may not know all the answers, but I will share what I do. I’m here for you. E-mail me anytime at naturegirl015admin@themagicwithinus.com

My love to you all!! xx Never give up parents, but please be patient.