I decided to do a second entry about this as some thoughts have come to mind. Like many of the children that have/are going through this, I too used to hide my soiled underwear. When your choices are to be yelled at now or yelled at tomorrow, I chose the 2nd option. I hid them because I wanted to live for an hour (even half an hour) as if it never happened. To be able to live like everyone else and be “normal” was such a dream…I was willing to put up with what I had to, for a chance to not go through it. I threw out several pairs until found out. The truth of my actions made the hurt worse emotionally, but the reality was that I was getting yelled at anyway (that’s how it was interpreted at the time).Yes I’m ashamed of my actions (and stopped doing it when got caught), however I’m not surprised when I hear of other children doing similar things. I can understand where they’re coming from and I can also understand why parents get frustrated about it. It’s not easy but there is light.
Whilst bedwetting in children is more common, widely spoken about and socially accepted it emphasises Encopresis/soiling as taboo. It’s hard on everyone involved when strangers abuse and remove themselves from your presence because of what they don’t understand. The more awareness we can get out there about this condition and everything it entails will help those involved (and uninvolved) understand what’s happening and what it feels like to live with it. Parents need to know what works and what doesn’t, and the children need to know that someone actually truly does love them as a person (even one that stinks).
Someone has to say that you are ok, and have a right to be happy. I wish I was told that. Some parents want a “miracle fix” (understandably but unrealistically) to help their child and live a happier life as soon as possible. Everyone is different and respond differently to the treatments available. What works (or didn’t work) for me may/may not work for you and your situation. It does take time before the body sorts itself out, heals what it needs to and move on. Certain food or allergies have been shown to trigger Enco (or encourage it), trauma in family situations/privacy breach, insecurities, family history of medical problems including constipation or a colon not working properly. These are some of the different triggers available that should be considered when helping your child with Encopresis. How the family handles and responds to the situation is vital in creating a positive environment and experiences whilst in this tough time, trust me.
Parents if you’re stuck, I’m here to listen and help (e-mail me anytime on firstname.lastname@example.org) and offer what I can. Let us work together, where it matters. It will be ok. You are ok.